My stomach lurched when I saw the blue lights in the rear view mirror. It continued to sink as the siren flicked and I pulled over. I wasn’t sure the reason, but the officer quickly informed me that I had not completely stopped at the stop sign a while back. But something was different. My heart wasn’t following my stomach in this downward spiral. Usually at this moment I’d be on the brink of tears, flustered, with all kinds of worries. I sat there while the police officer made his verdict in the car behind with an overwhelming feeling that it would be OK. I was hoping that he would let me go with a warning, but even when he brought back the ticket with a hefty fine I felt a certain kind of peace. I was bummed for sure about the amount of money I have to fork over, but I didn’t cry or try to defend myself. I couldn’t even think of any questions to ask. Strange! As I reflect on the event, it’s as if I hear the voice of my Father in heaven saying, “I’ve got you, I’ll provide what you need, You have a perfect record in my book.” But why was it so loud and clear this time?
Josh and I have been reading a book called Keeping the Sabbath Wholly by Marva Dawn. We have been reading about all the things we are to cease from on Sabbath. Two weeks about we read about ceasing anxiety, worry, and tension. This past week we were reminded to cease our trying to be God. During the week we are going to have worries and cares, things to think on, hard work to do. Dawn makes the point that when we take a day to lay aside our troubles we are better able to do this in the week. It’s like Sunday is a day to practice without so many distractions. Sunday is a day to cease providing for ourselves and trusting God to take care of us even if we can’t “get it all done.” We acknowledge that He is God on Sunday, we thank and worship Him for taking care of us, and our hearts are more equip to do this throughout the week. It hit me! That’s what was happening in my heart! Just two days ago I was practicing, I was taking time to surrender control of our schedule, our time in the US, our funds for return to Uganda, our relationships with friends and family. I was encouraged as I took time to remember and be thankful for His working in our lives and faithfulness to provide for us up to now. When I got pulled over and things seemed out of control, the Spirit helped me surrender this too! The thankfulness was fresh. Memories of his faithfulness were fuel for the Spirit.
I am also happy to report that God has provided an attorney at our church to represent me. He IS looking out for me! My heart is full of thankfulness again. Grateful for provision in this matter and grateful for Christ whose perfect record I have. Grateful to be loved by such a gracious God. Grateful for his Spirit who reminds me of this truth over and over.